How was your meal...I mean medical care?

I have a friend that works in a clinic in the rural Midwest. He introduced me to Press Ganey. He absolutely despises it. I had never given it much thought until he mentioned it so I looked it up. What I found was the biggest bunch of bullshit I’ve ever seen. Including the fact that they seem to not have a single MD/DO on staff.

Our Mission – “…to measure and improve their quality of care.”

That mission sounds like a decent and legitimate goal. However, they measure the quality of care by giving out “random” surveys that seem to be mailed out to the non-paying variety and are very similar to the restaurant satisfaction surveys from your local Red Robin. You know the one, how courteous was our staff. Did you get the Demerol that you demanded? How can we improve your next visit? They are giving a patient with absolutely no medical background (and sometimes no common sense), a survey on how they feel their physician treated them. How can anyone justify giving someone like that a survey asking them about the quality of their treatment. They don’t know if the labs were necessary. They don’t know if the meds given were correct. They don’t know if the doctor followed protocol for treatment… oh but that’s right, the survey isn’t judging the medical aspect. I don’t know what I was thinking - evaluating medical care received while in a hospital? Thats just crazy. Instead, its judging trivial aspects of their experience.

Why this fails.

Most patients don’t have a damn clue about the state of healthcare in America. They will bitch about long wait times, while having no clue that ER’s are having a shortage of nurses because the administration is cutting staff to buy a new Beemer instead of hiring the help that is desperately needed.

“The doctors were in a rush and hardly talked to me.” Once again, back to the lovely administration that’s telling them to push through 20 patients a day.

“The waiting room isn’t comfortable.” It’s a hospital not the Marriot. If your major concern is that the chairs weren't La-Z-boy's you obviously aren't in an emergent state and can wait for your primary care doc to see you.

Clearly Press Ganey was the sadistic idea of a drug seeker that has been denied narcotics.

Scenario 1: Assclown walks in with “back pain”. Demands a high dose of a potent narcotic while claiming to be allergic to the weak stuff. He knows the ER he chose to exploit incorporates Press Ganey. ED doc gives in so the Assclown doesn’t give him a bad score ruining his career.

Scenario 2: Same thing, the doctor gives him meds, but the assclown decides to give him a bad score anyways possibly putting the physicians job in jeopardy. Of course they will side with the assclown, because drug-seekers are so trustworthy.

Is it just me, or does it seem like doctors are pretty much screwed.

It also doesn’t take into account the fact that the recipients of the survey may not be literate. They may think it’s a joke. It can’t tell if they are saying a staff member was rude because s/he truly was, or after getting spit/pissed/puked on they decided to return the favor. In other words, the scope of the survey is inadequately narrow and offers the physicians/nurses no effective means of defending themselves.

Now before I get someone tearing me a new one because they have nothing better to do than troll blogs looking for inconsiderate assholes like myself. I know that people actually come into the ER with legitimate pains and ailments. I’m just showing the immense flaws in the Press Ganey system.

I’m also not saying that having some form of patient satisfaction survey is a bad idea, so I’ve devised a new Press Ganey.

Did you survive: Yes___ No___

If you selected “Yes” you should be satisfied.

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